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UNT to Become One Gigantic Fucking Construction Project

Classes Suspended Indefinitely

In a surprise press conference held early this morning, UNT Chancellor Lee Jackson, alongside various Denton County Officials, unveiled a massive new infrastructural overhaul that would encompass nearly every square inch of UNT’s Denton Campus.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Chancellor Jackson remarked, “but we’ve finally figured out a way to make the University of North Texas even more of a congested clusterfuck than it already is.”

When asked what the massive project intended to accomplish, Chancellor Jackson only smiled and said “[the] road to tier one ain’t gonna lay it’s own pavement, babe.”

By mid afternoon, The Office of the Provost declared classes to be suspended indefinitely. Students are advised to “get their shit and be on their merry fucking way by 5 pm local time.”