North Texas Pigeon Denton’s most libel news source

Overinvolved Try-hards Win Absolute Majority in SGA Senate

Weeks of bickering, ego stroking already placed on agenda

Backed by an unprecedented 6% turnout, the Overinvolved Boosty Little Try-hard Caucus has once again dominated this semester’s special elections.

“Fellow students,” said President-Elect Trevor Axford. “I am deeply humbled and honored by your choice to elect me president of this Student Body, and I can’t wait for the opportunity to serve each of you by putting this on my resume and not doing a goddamn thing for any of you ever.”

Immediately following the election, the victorious Try-Hard Boost Fucks took to Facebook and Twitter to revel in the spoils of their victory (pictured below).

The North Texas Pigeon’s fact-checking department estimates that 70% of the Facebook posts included the word “honored,” 65% used the word “humbled,” 80% included the phrase “ top leaders on campus,” 75% were above two paragraphs in length. and 90% ended with a shoutout to some friend/mentor/peer. It is also likely (but, unfortunately, unquantifiable) that said friend/mentor/peer secretly hates their guts with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.